


Here And Now

by Merixcil



Series: Tumblr Fics [34]
Category: Daenamhyup | DNH, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, Food, Gender Dysphoria, Non-Explicit Sex, Trans Character, trans girl namjoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: Late nights working in the studio - you can only get so much done
Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Shin Donghyuk | Supreme Boi
Series: Tumblr Fics [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759627
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Here And Now

Donghyuk’s frown deepens with every turn of the dial. It doesn’t sound right, it hasn’t sounded right all day despite him trying every trick he knows to even out the somewhat clunky sounding production.

He sighs and his eyes dart to the clock - one in the morning. Not cripplingly late, but when they’ve been at it for so long home time seems way overdue. He knows that if they leave now he’ll have lost all momentum when he tries to come back to it the next day but he’s also sick of the sight and sound of it.

Reluctantly, Donghyuk pulls his headphones off. He hasn’t eaten since lunch and figures he deserves a break for food if nothing else.

"Wanna go to McDonald’s?" he asks Namjoon, leaning back in his chair far enough to see her sprawled out on the studio couch.

"I shouldn’t," she grumbles, eyes not leaving her phone.

Donghyuk goes over to her and plops himself down on the other end of the couch, “I’m not asking if you _should_ go to McDonald’s, I’m asking if you _want_ to go to McDonald’s. With me,” he flutters his eyelashes hard enough to make Namjoon laugh.

"A midnight date?"

"Exactly!"

"Sound’s great."

"Let’s go then."

"I can’t," Namjoon looks up from her phone in time to stop Donghyuk butting in, "if you order in I’ll have a big mac but I’m not going out for it."

"Oh. Ok, you want fries?"

"Nah I’ll just steal some of yours."

Donghyuk rolls his eyes and reaches for Namjoon’s phone. It says something that he doesn’t even need to look up the number before he dials; he orders on autopilot and throws the phone back to Namjoon when he’s done.

They usually wind up eating junk food in Donghyuk’s home studio when Namjoon stays over. They used to go out for it but it’s getting increasingly hard to convince her that that’s something they can get away with. As Bangtan get ever more popular the risk of Namjoon being recognised is ever more serious and on days like today, when she’s feeling so comfortable in her skin, the repercussions of being spotted would be terrifying.

"C’mere," Donghyuk holds out an arm and waits for Namjoon to fit herself under it, her head resting on his shoulder and one hand on his knee. Her hair smells nice, like it always does when it gets long enough that she has to worry about keeping it well rather than just keeping it clean and her nails are painted black, chipping at the edges with days of wear and tear.

Donghyuk bends down to kiss her forehead and pulls her in close. It’s important to notice the little details, it’s important to not reduce Namjoon’s attempts to be feminine to skirts and hastily applied makeup. He knows that she’s a girl whether Big Hit like it or not but a lot of people don’t, or even if they do they’re not kind enough to talk about her like she is. The hair and the nails, hell even the pink phone case, they’ll all be ripped from Namjoon’s grasp and swept under the rug the next time she needs to appear in public.

And the worst part is that they’re not even the things that make Namjoon a girl. They’re the details that she clings to in her desperate attempts to convince everyone else that she’s not faking, because for the time being no one’s going to let her do what she needs to to feel at home in herself. It wasn’t a week ago that she showed up on Donghyuk’s doorstep red eyed and cold-hearted having been told for the third time that year that she wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone about her gender and that hormone therapies were officially off the table.

It’s awful, Donghyuk hates watching her shrink into herself every time she is reminded that she is so far off so much as giving people a chance to see her for who she really is.

Namjoon’s fingers curl into the inner seam of Donghyuk’s jeans. He starts, pulled out of a trance he wasn’t aware he was in, “you ok?”

"Mmmhmm," she sits up far enough to look him in the eye, smile innocent enough but her eyes shining coyly. Donghyuk takes a deep breath, whatever Namjoon is thinking about right now, it has nothing to do with the injustice of her gender.

Slowly, Namjoon’s hand creeps up Donghyuk’s thigh, her smile unwavering. The further she goes the more conscious Donghyuk becomes of the pressure placed on sensitive nerves leading to his crotch, and the twitch in Namjoon’s dimple keeping time with her breathing.

Eventually she stops, her hand right at the top of his leg and dangerously close to his rapidly hardening dick.

"What do you want?" she murmurs, squeezing his thigh,

Donghyuk slides his hand into her hair, bleach fading and roots growing strong in her attempts to grow it out as much as possible before she’s forced to have it cut back, “well first I wanna kiss you. And then-“

The afterthought is lost on Donghyuk’s tongue as Namjoon leans in and shuts his mouth for him. She kisses him softly, their tongues barely touching and their lips pressing lightly against each other. It always starts like this, bold intentions and gentle actions - the calm before a storm.

Namjoon reaches forward to undo Donghyuk’s jeans and loses her balance. His hands find her hips to steady her and he pulls her forward, groaning into her mouth as her hand slides into his underwear and her thumb teases the head of his dick,

"Move your…take these off, I can’t reach," Namjoon mumbles against Donghyuk’s lips. He does as she asks and she moves to straddle him, one hand coming to rest on his shoulder as the other takes a firm hold of his cock. She starts out easy, like with the kisses, making sure that he’s fully hard before increasing the pace.

"Do you want me to…" Donghyuk’s voice comes out breathless and his words poorly defined but Namjoon knows what he’s talking about. It’s important to ask about these things; some days she loves it and other days being touched like that makes her body feel alien and male.

Today is a good day. Namjoon nods frantically, “yes. Please.”

Her skirt is loose, stopping just above the knee and mercifully she has decided to forgo tights today so Donghyuk has only to slip his fingers under her panties to find her hard and eager and leaning into his touch the second he gets his hands on her.

Years of living in shared dormitories have made Namjoon quiet during sex, but her body is more expressive than Donghyuk’s guttural moans ever manage to be. Her back forms a clean arch when his fingers graze her most sensitive spots, she quivers beneath his fingertips when he sucks at the pulse point on her neck and she kisses him like she might suck the air from his lungs.

It’s magical, it’s all consuming, and in the end Donghyuk is so distracted by the way she moves when he touches her that he nearly misses his own climax. It creeps up on him from somewhere between the pleats of her skirt and the pressure of her fingers and the smell of her hair and her breath quickening in his ear. He holds her close as she strokes him through the aftershocks, hand erractic and stuttering as she approaches orgasm herself.

She comes with a choked moan, eyes squeezed shut and forehead pressed against Donghyuk’s. Her body tenses for a long moment and then she goes limp in his arms, falling forward and nuzzling into his neck.

“Hey you,” Donghyuk breathes.

“M’sleepy,”

“I’m not surprised,” Donghyuk smiles, “that came out of nowhere.”

“Not really, I was horny,” Namjoon pulls back grinning dopily, “there was a point about an hour ago where I came _this_ close to offering to suck your dick while you worked.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten much work done.”

“That was kind of the point.”

“What stopped you?”

Namjoon giggles and pulls herself off Donnghyuk’s lap, “I wanted you to buy me dinner first.”

“Dinner?” for a moment Donghyuk can’t think what she means. Then it hits him and he’s dashing to the front door, Namjoon’s deep, full bodied laughter ringing in his ears as he goes.

He returns with a McDonald’s bag, mercifully still warm, tucked under his arm. Namjoon is sitting at the mixing desk, headphones on and listening to the track Donghyuk’s been working on all day.

He shoves her bigmac under her nose to get her attention. She takes it, grinning ear to ear, “thanks!”

“What do you think?” Donghyuk asks through a mouthful of his own burger.

Namjoon nods emphatically, “it’s good, really good. I made a couple of tweaks just to even things out a bit but yeah it’s great.”

“Gimme the headphones I wanna listen.”

Namjoon passes Donghyuk the headphones and sits back to eat, eyes rolling back in her head as her teeth sink into bread and meat and cheese. Honestly, Donghyuk sometimes wonders if she doesn’t like food more than sex.

He reaches over her to hit the playback button and waits as the infuriatingly familiar intro plays itself out. Then the beat drops and suddenly everything falls into place, Donghyuk would be hard pressed to explain exactly how it’s different from how he left it, but listening to it now the niggling feeling that something wasn’t quite right is gone.

“What did you do to it?”

Namjoon shrugs, “I dunno I just fiddled with the levels a bit. You can change it back if you want I haven’t saved this yet.”

“What would I wanna change it back for? This is perfect, thanks.”

“Don’t say I never do anything for you!” Namjoon reaches out to extract the bag from Donghyuk’s grasp, “now where are those fries…”

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally posted as part of a multi chaptered 'tumblr prompts' fic that I'm trying to split up. If you think you've read it before, you probably have
> 
> Comments on the previous posting of this fic (just ask if you want me to remove yours) include:
> 
> >kaisoo12: oh my god!! this is amazing! i love that you wrote this. i had not ever considered that a kpop idol could be anything other than cisgender. this is such a real, tangible situation. the struggles were all so realistic (sadly). wowowow~ at first i thought this was a genderbend. short but really sweet! you're a fantastic writer! this is a great series~  
> >>Merixcil: Ah thank you! I'm so glad you liked it so much! Honestly it would be such a tricky position to be in as an idol... but as you say it's quite possible.  
> >>And thank you so much omg really these are just fills for anon requests but it's nice to know they're appreciated


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